afrikween

top ten.... uhh 7

2010-12-08T12:28:00.000-08:00

I haven't written about my hair in a gazillion months. That doesn't mean that my obsession has slowed down one bit. I think I'm at the point where I know exactly what my hair wants and needs but the inner PJ in me keeps wanting to buy and try more. I've recently had a few hankerings to retry old products that I liked but for now I'm holding off.

I really want to use the beauty supply under my sink.
If I were to narrow it down to ten products, which I though was impossible a year ago it would be. In this order too

1. Long Aid curl activator Gel (Green)
2. Castor oil
3 Giovanni conditioner(It doesn't matter which, I like them all)
4. I'm still on the hunt for a good shampoo. At this point I'm using one from the 99 cent store.
5 Glycerine
6 Shea butter
7.Eco styler gel

Actually I think that's it. I have no loyalty to any conditioner or shampoo so they still rotate. I picked giovanni cause it's mostly natural and has slip. I really haven't used shea butter in a few months. So then why is it that my eyes light up and my hearts race when I see thick creamy conditioners promising to moisturize? I have a real problem. The plan now is to leave my hair alone and let it do it's thing. Weirdiest thing has happened, I like my protective styles now and I prefer when it is pinned up. I bought some wigs and Kinky twist hair so that I can look cute while doing nothing to it. I will update on those later.

UCLA fro (Hair story part 5)

2010-04-01T00:10:00.000-07:00

When I was in the tenth grade. I became a member of a community organization that changed my life in more ways than I can count. This organization was developed by two very strong and beautiful women to improve the quality of life for people in one of the most impoverished communities in America. It had a component specifically for youth to address the issues they felt were important. This opportunity to use my long silenced voice was crticial in my current world view. I never left the place. After school I went there. At school I held meetings about the group. On weekends I volunteered in the neighborhood. I only went home to sleep and change clothes. During this time I was also exposed to the beauty of natural hair.
As you will often find in community based organizations there were quite a few women with natural hair. But these women were ab-so-lute-ly breath taking. There was the founder with the forever TWA, there was the boisterous 4b lady...who ended every sentence with "Okaaay", the was the lady with the medium puff whose fashion was to die for, The lady with cute locs and there was my favorite do the young lady who'd returned from UCLA with the crinkly fro. I don't know if it was because she was closer to my age but I wanted my hair like that!

When she'd left for college she was a mostly straight-haired natural, who when not straight was in a bun. One day at dinner (I told y'all I lived there)I heard her tell one of the Latinas that she puts conditioner, braids it up at night and releases it. That was the beauty secret that I had been longing to hear. From that point when I would take down my braids(the aforementioned Brandy braids), I would braid up my natural hair for my UCLA 'fro. I thought it was beautiful but I was way too scared to even walk into the living room with my hair like that.

At this organization these women(and some men too)saw the interest that I was taking in understanding studentsas part of the solution so they recommended that I read more on previous youth movements. I read "A Taste of Power" by Elaine Brown, "ASSATA" by Assata Shakur,"With my Mind on Freedom" by Angela Davis (Any English teachers or nerds like me...I know book titles are supposed to be underlined. I pressed control+ U and it didn't underline it.)and a few other books and articles... I only mention this because it was during this time that I realized that the movements of students and people of color was not about militancy or violence but about respect and acceptance. A monumental part of the Black power movement was reclaiming African culture and resetting Black standards of beauty.

Upon this realization, I knew that I could never chemically alter my hair again. Assatta Shakur says in her autobiography " If you are deaf, dumb and blind, you are under no obligation to do anything but if you know and do nothing but sit on your ass then you're nothing but a punk." I may have to go back and check the wording on that quote but I'm sure that was the gist. Any how knowing that I, my family and my community had been conditioned to hate ourselves because of our connection to our ancestral heritage was just plain silly. Ohhh but it was hard. I literally had to tell my self and often, "your natural hair is pretty."

I was in purgatory. My conscience wouldn't let me perm. My fear of non acceptance or "un prettiness" Would not let me out of those braids.... This continued until my first year of college I vividly remember the day....It was in February 2001 that I unraveled my braids that I'd put conditioner on the night before. I put in a blue glittery headband to match my blue shirt and I walked to class, daring someone to tell me my UCLA afro was not beautiful. Even though I only half way believed it myself.

Ugly 'do, Doing Good

2010-02-03T21:56:00.000-08:00

I have been too guilty of leaving the house and going to work with hair that I hated because I have been taking care of it. Case in point, last week I put in some plaits(AKA box braids- I didn't part so they were not boxes)They looked cute for um... 3 days. I wore them for 10. I didn't take them down because my hair is breaking like a madwoman and braids allow me the chance to baggy overnight and not to worry about my do in the morning, wash and deep condition without changing my style and make it to work on time even when I have to get my DD ready. I tried to jazz them up I used my hair zings, claw clips and headbands but they were raggedy plain and simple. I finally took them down on day 10 my hair felt silky and my broken strands were minimal. My ugly do did some good.

I want to get a wig so I can look like I have my big wild fro but be baggying and carrying on but I feel SUPER self conscious. I talk trash about some Black women's dependence on wigs. I don't want to depend on it. I do want to use it as a tool. Everytime I mention it to my husband he goes..."uuuuuuh I don't know, I mean it's your hair. Do what you want to do BUT it's FAKE hair." I think I have a reputation even with people who I have never spoken to at(neighbors and coworkers) about hair because my hair is always natural. I feel like secretly these people, some of whom whose names I don't even know will be having a meeting about my hypocritical ways.

I used to wear braids and kinky twists.It gave my hair the much needed break while still looking presentable and I could washit with no problems but I think I'm at a point in my hair love affair where I need to touch it daily. The last two times did them,I lost my edges too. They just grew back and im not ready to deal with that right now.

Weaves, although they intrigue me, also scare me. I really would not have access to may hair. Washing would be difficult, it may be installed too tightly, the hair is hella expensive and it the one thing I don't know how to do my self so I would have to pay someone.

This week I've been trying something in between. I have been baggying big loose braids at night which keep my hair stretched and ends moist. In the morning, I pull my hair into a bun, moisturize and seal the ponytailed hair, put on a baggy then my phony pony puff. It is the same length as my real hair. I still feel self-conscious but I feel like I'm getting over on people because no one knows I am treating my hair to a special baggy treat. At least this week my hair looks well while being well cared for.

New Year, New Hair

2010-02-03T21:36:00.000-08:00

I am feeling really good about the decisions I've been making with my hair in the new year. I've started to dry style more. I find I lose less hair that way. I really have decided to keep combs and brushes at bay. For detangling at least. I don't care how many naturals say such and such miracle brush or seamless, natural comb glided through their hair and they only lost 1 strand.... It aint for me. I lose a small fury animal. It's not shed hair, a significant portion of them are broken. That probabaly is the reason for my crown area damage. I only detangle gently with my fingers. I am not buying any new products. That's right. A month has passed and I have not bought 1 product. There are a few things that I've run out of that I love.1 of which I may rebuy before my daughter's wash day. I don't mind using conditioners with 25 letter ingredients for me but she's only one and I try to use natural products for her so I will be buying 1 (I really want to get two and a bottle of GPB but that will not help me use up my stash)bottle of AOHSR. I am also doing a test run on being cone free. That's been three weeks. So far may hair is liking it but I cant tell if the difference in my hair is a combination of the other changes I've made. One of which being overnight baggying three to four days a week. Oh my ends will love me forever for this. The second of which is leaving my styles in for a week at least. I'm really pushing for 10-14 days. We shall see.

I'm just sayin'...

2010-01-17T19:32:00.000-08:00

You ever want to backhand somebody for a sideways comment. You know the comment that wasn't meant to offend, but in it's roots are offensive. Today I saw a young lady I hadn't seen in a while at a social gathering for a mutual friend. I had my daughter whom she'd never met. She commented on her beauty, for which I replied thank you. Then she looked at her afro puffs and said "Oh my what are you going to do with her hair, it's thiiiick." She thought she was shooting the breeze but I gave her the stank eye. Her comments were wrong on so many levels. First off my daughter has fine hair. It is extremely dense but fine. Second, so what if it was thick. Thick was her code word for nappy and not the adjective nappy,(which I love and use) the denegration nappy. Third, and what I believe was the root of her comment, combing nappy hair is not an arduous chore,or burden. She implied that my child some how by being her normal, beautiful, perfectly made self, was defective. I wanted to raise my right eybrow, get my questioning tone and roll my neck simeoutaneously but this was not the time nor the place. After I gave her the look I quickly left her alone with her ignorant thoughts. To answer her silly ass question, I"m going to love her hair, treat it gently, keep it moisturized, let it grow and most importantly teach her to love it and see the beauty in herself as well. That way she won't be one of those people who's hair has been fried, dyed and laid to the side, overrun by splits and consequently at the same length for 7 years(I'm just sayin').

My splits are splitting

2010-01-16T13:05:00.000-08:00

I don't know what to do, I am noticing growth but my ends are jacked up. I have trimmed about four or five times this year, trynna get rid of splits. But upon close inspection my splits have splits, sometimes three times and then a single strand knot. Don't ask me how that happens to a lady who only detangles with conditioner and leaves her hair stretched 95% of the time. Some one who almost never uses heat. I have used it twice last yr. Once in March and once in December.
I have thought about searching and destroying but I thought that was ridiculously tedious. Then for a week straight, I wanted this over priced machine that probably would have ripped my hair out. The infomercial claimed that it only trimmed the splits. I went searching high and low for Black, then curly, then natural women using this. I found some staight haired Black women on youtube, but textured hair seemed to evade this thing like the plague. Then I went to my trusty hair forums..... they confirmed what my heart did not want to believe. That weird, overpriced machine would have gotten all tangled in my naps to say the least. My choices are to cut much higher on the strand about all the knots and splits(loosing a few hard earned inches) or search and destroy gradually. I chose the later. I will see how this works out after a few months.

A long overdue update

2010-01-15T22:57:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking about posting alot of things that are not hair related at all. Because they weren't I didn't post.I've also been lazy. Most of the time, I'm reading everybody and their momma's blogs,loving them and wishing I had a space to contribute my own two cents.I think I done with that.dont get me wrong I am still a faithful reader of all of the fabulous hair info. I just will write about what ever moves me. I have also been in limbo with some things at work. I have taken care of those things. Mentally, I feel freed. Like I need some productive things to do. There are some projects that have been in my head and in my journal that I will work to bring to life this year. Hopefully people will enjoy reading it and it will be somewhat meaningful or at least entertaining.

I didn’t know I had curly hair...

2009-02-03T12:32:00.000-08:00

In my hair excitement , I was raveling new vocabulary like a whiz kid… “humectant, cones surfactant.” I kept rambling about the new excitement over my hair and trying new things and seeing new results and that phrase came out. My friend who is Latina with very straight hair said through her laughter “What do you mean you didn’t know you had curly hair?” I had to go through my mind to try to explain how a hair and braid guru/enthusiast could go her whole life and not know there were curls in her afro. I couldn’t. I could not explain my ignorance. I couldn’t explain that that ignorance had been passed down and was widely spread. After she went home I began thinking about all of the things that prevented me from seeing my texture.

1. Washing my hair in the sink
2. Hardly ever conditioning
3. Blow drying with a comb attachment
4. Combing my hair while dry
5. Not using a wide tooth comb
6. Occasional pressing

Now that I think of it, there were a few curl sightings before I put the blow dryer on HIGH and tore though it. I‘ve seen a few curl clumps but I thought that they were the result of over straightening. When I had a perm, the front of my hair was curly but I thought it was the result of the perm. Those curls couldn’t have possibly been given to me by nature. All Black people had nappy hair unless they were biracial or there was some fluke of nature. That was what I believed and I know I wasn’t alone. I still describe my hair as nappy and that’s not a bad thing to me. I had been on naturallycurly.com for a short while, lurking and I thought the girl were insane “looking for their curl pattern.” They were dropping the knowledge about how to keep your hair healthy and their twists and twist outs looked like mine. I began to wonder. “Are there any curls up there?” “Maybe I will wash my hair in the shower, but I’m not giving up my shampoo.” Which became “ I will try to co wash, but I am not buying no hair products online.” That soon became “Alright getting hair shipments is like Christmas, but there is no way I can wash my hair and go!” Wrong and wrong again. If I can go my whole life with out truly knowing what my hair looks like, there are lots more experiments and hair concoctions to blend. I now have one more style to add to my arsenal; a wash n go fro.

The word can't isn't in my hair vocabulary

2009-02-03T12:30:00.000-08:00

I am in constant amazement of the things my hair can do. My hair and I are on our honey moon. It has never felt softer, shown noticeable growth or inspired me more. I constantly want to touch it, braid it, twist it, wet it, pamper i. I love it! I am now smart enough to know not to battle with my hair. I won’t win. If it’s frizzy or doesn’t want to comply with my hair calendar there is simply a change in the plans. I wanted to rock the twist out but if she’s felling a puff, that’s cool. It is what it is!(That’s my new hair motto) I feel like I should name her. She’s comparable to Beyonce’s alter ego Sasha Fierce. Fly, funky, sexy and attitudinal, in just the right way. I’m gonna think about that one… I get back to you. Hopefully it won’t take as long as it took me to name my daughter. Well if I don’t like this one or if her personality changes, I can change it.

I’ve talked about my hair ignorance but certain things I read about I said my hair is not gonna do that. It’s just not. That may work for you but it won’t work for me.

First up to bat- co washing.

Before
My hair did not feel clean and my scalp, my poor scalp hated it. It certainly wasn’t clean. I had a mean bout of dandruff and I had to do it three times a week. That was too much work cause I had to comb three times a week which I just couldn’t keep up with. Also I had to get used to the idea of doing my hair in the shower (BTW my hair was a hot mess) I have to admit, I was still using my old products with petroleum and mineral oil because I was broke.

Now
Co wash once a week, I occasionally shampoo because I occasionally use cones. My hair feels clean and soft and the miracle, I mean MIRACLE. No dandruff. I’ve had dandruff for the past 16 years. That’s more than half my life.

Next in line- Homemade mixes

Before
I said by the time you buy all of the ingredients you would have spent a lot of money. And I don’t have the time for all the extras

Now
I almost exclusively mix my concoctions. My husband took note of how they were working out for my daughter and I and he asks me to mix up things for his skin. This is as fun as trying a new Rachael Ray recipe!

Wash n go.

Before
I said wetting my hair causes it to draw up. The only way I can make my hair even have the wavy look is by twisting or braiding it. I thought the girls on the hair boards had something different than me, Not sure what but there was something.
Now
My paradigm has shifted. The more water the better. After a week of “being good.”(Not combing my hair) I can’t wait for the wash n go it’s like treat. Yes it draws up and it’s not as big as the twist outs but it is sooo fly. Definitely A new staple for me.

Next on my list

Roller setting

In knew that you could roll natural hair and get a different curl pattern but some of these girls had hair looking like it was fresh from the shop with a hard press. I tried straw sets and perm rods and even foam rollers but there was still some kink – which I liked. I still haven’t tried this because I’m honestly not in the mood for straight or mostly straight hair. But I did spy with my little eye the types of rollers I been seeing on youtube at the 99 cents store( which is now a dollar. How sad!) I think I will get them today actually

Pretty is as Pretty Does

2009-01-26T10:02:00.000-08:00

I may have mentioned a time or two before that I work out. For the most part it’s not something that I live to do but it is sometimes enjoyable. The results are their own reward. I like to take classes to motivate me and it helps me make working out part of my schedule. I like to do kickboxing, cycling and yoga. Last week when I went to yoga, I was distracted. Not for any important reason like bills or something I need to do. I kept trying to pull up my old sweat pants so that my chonies wouldn’t show. I thought to myself. “this is ridiculous.” Yoga is important to me for a few reasons; 1) It lets me calm down. 2) It make me challenge myself and test my strength and 3) Excuse my vanity, but I think the postures make me feel pretty. I look over at the reflection and see the geometric shapes my body can make, or my womanly curves and I think “how pretty.”

During class in warrior 3, I resolved to buy some new work out clothes. I had allocated in my budget for clothes this month and even though the month is darn near over I hadn’t spent it. I was tempted to go to the new Target across the street but I wanted my money to stretch. When I got home I warned my husband, “Tomorrow, I’m going shopping after work. You’re going to have to get the baby from childcare.” I’m sooo glad I did. First off, I can’t remember the last time I went shopping with out having to include the logistics of taking the car seat inside, using a handicapped fitting room so that she will have space when I’m trying on clothes, if I should get a basket so I don’t have to carry her and trying to squeeze it all in between her meals. She has me on a schedule!

Any who I found some things that I like I got fitted yet comfy pants (2 pair) and sports bra-tanks from Ross. Sunday I was supposed to go to cycling but I woke up late. So I went later and got down with my good friend the elliptical. Can I just say that when I looked up at the mirror, I was surprised to see a fox staring back at me. I still have some of my I-overdid-it-when-I-was-pregnant-weight, but I saw some definition in those arms and some curves rightly where they should be. I felt so cute that I kept going until I got to my goal. Long story short; if you wanna get cute; be cute! I'm gonna save my old protest and college tees for cooking and henna.

I wanna be down...(hair story 4)

2009-01-25T21:03:00.001-08:00

With what ya goin through

* doing the dance that Brandy and Ray J do in the video*

Being bald headed and 13 is probably the worst thing that could happen to a pubescent girl. I had serious concerns about going back to school. (Keep in mind I am [I meant was] a nerd) I would not take ‘senior’ pictures and do the 8th grade activities with no hair! Luckily for me, a TWA started to take shape close to the end of the summer. A friend of my cousin (yes, the same one who did my first perm and who’s hair caught on fire) was a fantastic braider. She told my cousin she could ‘catch it’. This lady worked her magic and I had wrap-braids, burnt at the ends and everything! The first day of school, my cute braids were the talk of the town. The neighbor would re-braid my hair every month and she only charged my aunt $25! That was cheap, even back then. All good things must come to an end. This talented lady got a job at the post office around the Christmas holiday; she no longer had time to sit and work her magic on my tresses. The fear of revealing my lack of hair to my class crept up again. I officially had the Brandy Syndrome. You know… braid your hair, then hurry up and re-braid it before any one ever sees your hair, for years. In a moment of sheer brilliance, I told my aunt that I could do it. Once again I swayed her with the bottom line. “ All you have to do is just buy the hair. It’s cheaper.” Those first braids were a hot mess. I knew it and so did everyone else but there was no way in HELL that I was gonna show my hair. Eventually, I had about 4 ½ inches of hair and guess what I did. I went back to the Just for Me. In between braids I permed from root to tip, like I did when I was ten. This kept up until for a year and half. Somewhere along the line, we moved and my next door neighbor had shoulder length hair. She and her mom were convinced me that perms were hair suicide. Instead, they insisted, I should press my hair. I tried that. It didn’t work! Every time I pressed it, my hair ‘went back’ in about three days--tops! I had never done it before and no one could persuade me to believe it was worth all the hassle. My aunt pressed it well but she was insistent upon using grease. Grease was soooo out. The spray oil sheen was where it was at. Since I hated the half nappy- half straight look, I just pulled my broken dried hair back into a tiny tail in between braids. The good thing is that the peer pressure convinced me to gradually start to cut the permed hair in between braids.

Curls For the girls (hair story 3)

2009-01-21T13:34:00.000-08:00

Curls for the girls
Waves for the babes
Napps for the **** (It was some thing racially offensive, use your imagination)

That was a popular saying when I was growing up. Your hair, in order to be attractive needed to have a curl some or waves. The interesting thing about this saying is that it applied to males attracting girls or babes or females being girls or babes to attract guys.

This entry isn’t really about that saying…..it just reminded me of when my soul glew.

On spring break in 6th grade my best friend's mom offered to get my hair braided for Easter. She was getting her daughter’s hair done and since I was her best friend, we could look alike.
BAD IDEA!

My aunt took that as an insult, that my hair did not look good and the Saturday before Easter, I took my first trip, kicking and screaming, to the beauty salon. I had bad memories of curls. People walking around with shower caps on outside, hair that literally dripped and the big whammy, when my cousin’s hair caught on fire . Just like Michael Jackson. That’s what happens when you put highly flammable gunk in your hair. It was winter and my aunt asked her to move the logs in the fireplace, a little spark flew up and she screamed, and we panicked to extinguish the flames. Luckily she wasn’t hurt.

Flash back to me in the shop…She told her beautician (that’s what they were called back then) to fix my hair for Easter.

Fast forward past the perm rods the stinky smells and all that. This was the late nineties! This style had been out of date for ten years already. I was so scared to go outside. SO scared to go back to school. All of the kids kept asking me, “Why did you get a curl?” I mumbled. “ Cause my Aunty made me.” The laughter, the ‘drip, drip’ references and ‘follow the drip’ jokes were ongoing. One boy made me want to tumble with him, I was so mad. We were learning haiku in our English class. The teacher explained the structure and how the Japanese often use nature as a source of inspiration. He took that and ran with it. His poem;

When it rains outside
All you hear is drip, drip
Drip, drip,drip, drip, drip

There was a large uproar of laughter because everyone, except my teacher knew he was talking about me. I got revenge. I wrote an epic poem about him.(As you may have guessed, I was a nerd) The diss of all times. I won’t share it but, Oh my goodness did he wish he never wrote that haiku .

That same year when school was out. I asked my aunt not to get my hair done. She was up for saving a buck and said that “ if I wanted to look like who shot John” then that was okay with her.

My hair fell out that summer, at the line where the curl and my natural hair met. Going to school with no hair would be worse than going with a cur.l AND to add insult to injury, it was the most important year of middle school - 8th grade.

Love is in the air...

2009-01-20T11:43:00.000-08:00

Isn’t it a beautiful thing to see two people in love. I mean knowing gazes and gestures of admiration. When I watch Barack and Michelle, (yes, we’re on a first name basis. They my cousins.) that’s what I see. They are just so happy and in love. I’ve heard they’ve been married for 16 years! 16yrs and they are most certainly going strong. I watched when he was being sworn in and she looked up with him with eyes that said. “Go on head baby.” Okay I exaggerate. That’s what I would have said and been thinking if it were my husband. But then again my husband is not American so he would never be getting sworn in. In America at least. Digression over. They seem like partners in every sense of the word. She held the Abraham Lincoln Bible for him and stood by his side.

She encouraged him to claim his birth rite as the first Black President and they did it with dignity. They always look back to each other when speaking, Barack still whispers in her ear to encourage a giddy smile and he is smart enough to compliment her repeatedly when she’s looking FIIIERCE. They have ushered in a new era of CLASS for the Black community to aspire to. I just wish I lived down the street from them so I could invite them to dinner. I sincerely wish them well personally and professionally.

Just for me (Hair story 2)

2009-01-19T15:29:00.000-08:00

After the Sandra incident, my aunt decided to "work with my hair". I can't tell you the countless concoctions or weird smelling potions that were applied to get my hair to grow. Things for horses, grease with sulfur, mystery brown liquid that you added to your grease. This continued for a few years (I think 2).

One day when she was walking me home, (yeah back when parents used to walk their kids) I was in fourth or fifth grade my aunt announced to me "You can start combing your own hair now." I looked up in shock. "Really?" "Yeah. You old enough." This was like a rites of passage. After years of being punished for "playing in my hair" this was hard to believe. No more being popped with the comb for not sitting still. All of the years of experimentation on my dolls could now be done to my own hair, with my own hands. Needless to say I was stoked.

I soon found out that my hair would not do what my straight haired dolls would do. I also did not have access to any haircare products or styling tools because my aunt had a Jherri curl and her daughter had a perm. I used rubber bands , grease and water. My signature style became Afro puffs. I would part my hair down the middle, then split the two halves into thirds resulting in six, what I thought were very cute, Afro puffs. Once I tried to leave the back out in bangs. I was brought back to reality real quick. Being adminished,"little girls don't leave their hair out." Not wanting to be accused of being fast or too grown, I went back to the puffs. I rocked this style for about a year. Couldn't nobody tell me nothing , until someone did. One of my aunt's best friends commented on my hair, saying that she needed to do something with it. The next day when my aunt came home from work she announced that she had something for me. From inside her black plastic bag, she revealed a Just For Me perm. Although I was sad that I would be losing my puffs I though that my at least my hair would look like my counterparts at school. My cousin applied it in the bathroom and instructed me to maintan it with the Just for Me conditioner which was like Pink oil moisturizer. Whenever I got a new perm, I applied it(yes I was doing my own perm at age 10) from root to tip like I'd seen my cousin do, not knowing I was killing my hair.

Somebody ought to be shot

2009-01-18T12:51:00.000-08:00

That's right I said it...for the mass ignorance of Black women worldwide on how to care for our hair. How did this happen? Every couple of years my hair would fall out in massive amounts. I didn't know what to do but try to hide it with braids or with the little hair that was left over. I thought that that was just how my hair was. I accepted it, begrudgingly. Today I was reminded of the cluelessness that I used to have. I was at the gym waiting for my cycling class to begin.(I had to come hella early cause these new years folks are taking up everything .) So I went into the women's locker room to do my weekly weigh in. When I looked in the mirror, I noticed that one of my twists wasn't quite twisted at the end. I wet my finger and began twirling. From the right I heard "I like you hair like that." I thought she was talking to the lady behind me with long straight hair, so I kept doing my thang. So she continued " with them twists. It looks pretty." I turned and smiled. "Thank you." She started up again, " I used to twist my hair up like that and wear it for two weeks, but I can't stand my hair. I don't want nothin' to do with it." Then I looked and noticed that she was wiping a PILE of her hair off of the counter. I went to the hand drier and when it started automatically, I noticed another PILE on the floor. She was wearing a hat but from what I could see her hair looked natural. I think she'd just com from the aqua aerobics class and combed her hair. Everything in me wanted to just start rattling off conditioners, styling tips, deep treatments andto tell the wonders of shea butter. "Don't forget the shea butter!" I thought. I tried to encourage her to twist it again herself ,then I would work the conditioners in to the conversation. " You should twist it, it'll save you some time. You won't have to comb your hair for two weeks" "No."she replied "I'm gonna get some braids."

I left there sad for her in a way but overall sad for us as a people. That was me about a year ago. any time I touched my hair or even looked at it the wrong way it came out in mounds. Why is it that a lady old enough to be my mama's big cousin, have no idea on how to care for her hair why is it that I went 26 years with out knowing how to properly care for my hair. If I had not accidentally stumbled onto naturallycurly, I too would have been looking for braids to take a vacation from my hair. I am soooooo glad that so many ladies are spreading the knowledge on the forums and youtube but we need to get this info out to to the masses... It makes me want to buy some airtime on BET or something. I'm very thankful that I found this information just in time to stop this cycle. I know my daughter won't be so ignorant. She will have the knowledge to work with wondrous beauty that grows from her.

length check

2009-01-14T21:37:00.000-08:00

These pics were taken at the end of Dec 08, one year after my BC. I will use them for my baseline 09 pics for the length in the front, above the ear and my nape. I will try to update them every 3 months. I am very happy with the health and growth that I have experienced. Also I'm very thankful to the lovely ladies at naturallycurly.com who are constantly dropping knowledge on how to retain healthy hair.

Sandra the Crackhead

2009-01-14T21:07:00.000-08:00

You read correctly. I'm not making fun of people who have substance abuse issues. This is just another sad but true hair anecdote. When I was about 7 or 8, my aunt was tired of "dealing with" my hair.she wanted it "fixed". She wanted to perm my hair but didn't know how because she was a faithful Jherri curl client (She still is). One of her casual acquaintances ,Sandra, was a known drug addict. So much so that me and my brothers called her Sandra, the crack head. Her son was born addicted to that mess and was slow mentally and had a speech impediment. She had jerky body movements and weird and highly unbelievable stories. This is who my aunt trusted to put chemicals on my hair and scalp to "make it look nice." I was scared to walk with Sandra back to her apartment alone. When we got there there was almost nothing in this lady's house. Just bare white walls and scarce furniture. She mixed some potion, stirred it with a stick put gloves on then slathered it on my hair. When she rinsed it out she was surprised. Apparently it didn't take like it was supposed to. Her bright idea.... put rollers in it. When she was done, I had big eighties grown woman hair. She asked me if I liked it. I lied and said yes. When I got home my little brother told me the sad truth; I looked like Sandra, the crackhead.

A few months later my hair fell out again. There was absolutely no maintenance of the perm or thank goodness, the style. I feel okay telling this story not because I want to bash family or upbringing but because ALOT of women have their own Sandra stories. Sandra is merely a metaphor for the desperation that we face in just dealing with our hair. We often learn hair hatred very young. Sandra was part of my indoctrination.

In the beginning (hair story 1)

2009-01-14T12:39:00.000-08:00

In the beginning there was the big nappy hair. According to pictures of me at about two or three, there were ponytails , really big, with yarn ribbons. I am told that around the same time, all of my hair fell out due to sores from impetigo. This is where my battle began. My aunt who was my caregiver could not do hair. I repeat she could not do hair. I now know that most Black women don't know how to keep hair healthy but she was worse, because she couldn't style it. She did not know how to cornrow or twist and didn't believe in "wasting money" on barrettes or tootsie balls. There was plaits and all kinds of grease. That was it. It was not unusual on Saturday night for my pre-church preparation to have my hair washed with dish detergent. Conditioner, what was that? My hair was pulled and tugged and called everything but a work of God. Slowly but surely, my hair would "fall out" periodically. Of course that was blamed on me letting girls "play in my hair."

Oh how I longed for "french braids" with beads or barettes to dangle and move when I bounced around. If I were lucky, my cousin would blow dry my hair and twist it with barrettes or my aunt's friend would give me french braids with the foil on the ends. I put my stocking cap onfaithfully during those times, because I wanted those styles to last. I was tired of the kids (read girls) at school calling me nappy head this, and bald headed that. To little Black kids in the hood, there is nothing worse than being Black, with short, nappy hair. At least, in their minds, they were obliged at least change the two that they could. Honestly, I did not know the difference between my hair and theirs. I knew I had nappy hair but I just thought all Black folks had nappy hair. I had never seen or used a pressing comb and was blistfully ignorant. I did want longer hair so my beads (on rare occasions) could shake like maracas when I played double-dutch.

still a laurynwannabe

2009-01-14T12:19:00.000-08:00

Today I was working at my former middle school . I go to the music rooms where the class was located and the door was locked. As I wait for an administrator with a special key to come and open it, a beautiful brown lady walks up with tons of bags. I smile. She smiles back and gives me the look of nappy acknowledgement and proceeds to try to open the door. She put her bags down to open the door, meanwhile, I couldn't take my eyes off this lady. She looked like on the outside what I feel like on the inside. She was flyyy but casual yet self assured. Her hair was perfectly locked, just shy of shoulder length. She wore a sage retro inspired blazer a fitted grey tee, olive cords and what I used to call bolwing tennis shoes (also grey and green). It all seemed to go together so well. I think that's what I saw and wanted. To be all put together, to have all of my ducks in a row. She made me flashback to a picture of Lauryn in a classroom that my sister (from another motha and father)showed me when we were both laurynwannabes. she wrote "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill", as standards. Lauryn represented so much for young black girls and women. She showed that strength, intelligence, sexiness, cutural/political awareness and style were never mutually exclusive. I just stared vacantly in admiration, hoping not to be too weird. Then I flashed back to the present and affirmed,"That's gonna be me in September, put together but with a big crinkly fro."