UCLA fro (Hair story part 5)

When I was in the tenth grade. I became a member of a community organization that changed my life in more ways than I can count. This organization was developed by two very strong and beautiful women to improve the quality of life for people in one of the most impoverished communities in America. It had a component specifically for youth to address the issues they felt were important. This opportunity to use my long silenced voice was crticial in my current world view. I never left the place. After school I went there. At school I held meetings about the group. On weekends I volunteered in the neighborhood. I only went home to sleep and change clothes. During this time I was also exposed to the beauty of natural hair.
As you will often find in community based organizations there were quite a few women with natural hair. But these women were ab-so-lute-ly breath taking. There was the founder with the forever TWA, there was the boisterous 4b lady...who ended every sentence with "Okaaay", the was the lady with the medium puff whose fashion was to die for, The lady with cute locs and there was my favorite do the young lady who'd returned from UCLA with the crinkly fro. I don't know if it was because she was closer to my age but I wanted my hair like that!

When she'd left for college she was a mostly straight-haired natural, who when not straight was in a bun. One day at dinner (I told y'all I lived there)I heard her tell one of the Latinas that she puts conditioner, braids it up at night and releases it. That was the beauty secret that I had been longing to hear. From that point when I would take down my braids(the aforementioned Brandy braids), I would braid up my natural hair for my UCLA 'fro. I thought it was beautiful but I was way too scared to even walk into the living room with my hair like that.

At this organization these women(and some men too)saw the interest that I was taking in understanding studentsas part of the solution so they recommended that I read more on previous youth movements. I read "A Taste of Power" by Elaine Brown, "ASSATA" by Assata Shakur,"With my Mind on Freedom" by Angela Davis (Any English teachers or nerds like me...I know book titles are supposed to be underlined. I pressed control+ U and it didn't underline it.)and a few other books and articles... I only mention this because it was during this time that I realized that the movements of students and people of color was not about militancy or violence but about respect and acceptance. A monumental part of the Black power movement was reclaiming African culture and resetting Black standards of beauty.

Upon this realization, I knew that I could never chemically alter my hair again. Assatta Shakur says in her autobiography " If you are deaf, dumb and blind, you are under no obligation to do anything but if you know and do nothing but sit on your ass then you're nothing but a punk." I may have to go back and check the wording on that quote but I'm sure that was the gist. Any how knowing that I, my family and my community had been conditioned to hate ourselves because of our connection to our ancestral heritage was just plain silly. Ohhh but it was hard. I literally had to tell my self and often, "your natural hair is pretty."

I was in purgatory. My conscience wouldn't let me perm. My fear of non acceptance or "un prettiness" Would not let me out of those braids.... This continued until my first year of college I vividly remember the day....It was in February 2001 that I unraveled my braids that I'd put conditioner on the night before. I put in a blue glittery headband to match my blue shirt and I walked to class, daring someone to tell me my UCLA afro was not beautiful. Even though I only half way believed it myself.