Ugly 'do, Doing Good

I have been too guilty of leaving the house and going to work with hair that I hated because I have been taking care of it. Case in point, last week I put in some plaits(AKA box braids- I didn't part so they were not boxes)They looked cute for um... 3 days. I wore them for 10. I didn't take them down because my hair is breaking like a madwoman and braids allow me the chance to baggy overnight and not to worry about my do in the morning, wash and deep condition without changing my style and make it to work on time even when I have to get my DD ready. I tried to jazz them up I used my hair zings, claw clips and headbands but they were raggedy plain and simple. I finally took them down on day 10 my hair felt silky and my broken strands were minimal. My ugly do did some good.

I want to get a wig so I can look like I have my big wild fro but be baggying and carrying on but I feel SUPER self conscious. I talk trash about some Black women's dependence on wigs. I don't want to depend on it. I do want to use it as a tool. Everytime I mention it to my husband he goes..."uuuuuuh I don't know, I mean it's your hair. Do what you want to do BUT it's FAKE hair." I think I have a reputation even with people who I have never spoken to at(neighbors and coworkers) about hair because my hair is always natural. I feel like secretly these people, some of whom whose names I don't even know will be having a meeting about my hypocritical ways.

I used to wear braids and kinky twists.It gave my hair the much needed break while still looking presentable and I could washit with no problems but I think I'm at a point in my hair love affair where I need to touch it daily. The last two times did them,I lost my edges too. They just grew back and im not ready to deal with that right now.

Weaves, although they intrigue me, also scare me. I really would not have access to may hair. Washing would be difficult, it may be installed too tightly, the hair is hella expensive and it the one thing I don't know how to do my self so I would have to pay someone.

This week I've been trying something in between. I have been baggying big loose braids at night which keep my hair stretched and ends moist. In the morning, I pull my hair into a bun, moisturize and seal the ponytailed hair, put on a baggy then my phony pony puff. It is the same length as my real hair. I still feel self-conscious but I feel like I'm getting over on people because no one knows I am treating my hair to a special baggy treat. At least this week my hair looks well while being well cared for.